Ryan Turner

Believe the hype.

http://video.sympatico.msn.com/v/en-ca/v.htm?g=60d0698a-f042-471e-aaad-42e8fb49e9b3&f=imbot_en-ca&fg=rss

as the title implies, my youth is indeed slipping away. and when I think of the time I have wasted, it truly disheartens me. having said this I have somewhat realized what it is that I would like to do for a living at this point in my life. it will take a lot of hard work, and sacrifice, and I fear my social life may not exist this next year, but I mean...I am sick of waking up and cursing the very ground I am walking on. I hate the industry I am in, and only hate it more day by day. and I can fully blame it for giving me the beginnings of tendonitis, and hell maybe one day carpal tunnel, which would suck cause that would make this other thing I'm trying to do...even harder to do.

other than that....I got to go to warped tour with my bros' and one of two sisters....and it was fun. I got burnt, badly. they had a blast, lost a shoe, drank lots of water, saw hardcore dancing for the first time (gaygaygay), and then even got to see billy talent play. they were pumped. I liked thursday. I'm old.

The old world has passed, a new one begun. One that thinks not of community, nor compassion, one that thinks of efficiency, and profitable gain. One that has black hearts for skyscrapers, and flower gardens for sidewalks. This is your new philosophy, welcome to the real world.


Weak people cannot be sincere.

advent children. today. right on.

ankle that has become the greatest pain of my mid 20's. not so right on.

new shai hulud. right on.

Jenner coming back to Guelph soon. right on.

My brother wimping out and deciding to not move to Guelph. not so right on. kinda moronic actually.

Sabres up 2-0 against Philly. right on.

only 800 bucks on my income tax return??? ....not so right on. I disapprove.

Rosesdead playing in the other room. uh.....50-50.

mom letting me borrow the jeep to get Jabes this weekend. RIGHT ON.

this journal entry. right on.

man my ankle hurts.

I look so cool when I skateboard, that I got 15 year old broads asking me for hugs. aw yeah. Then I tell them how old I am, and they run away with a dirty look on their face.

too funny.

Ryan "I skate, you don't" Turner

I'm convinced I will die bitter, paranoid, and knowing I was afraid of change, if I don't start doing something soon. what the hell is my problem?

I have had one of the most amazing....if not best summers of my life. I live in a pretty cool town for once, and I just moved into a new house, and these things should be making me feel good. Well they are not..... besides the rampant car trouble I've had lately (which in itself is ridiculous, cause I just bought the friggin' thing) My favorite person in the world is gone for school. I thought I could hold myself together for today....first day apart is always rough...but....I feel completely and utterly miserable. I feel like a part of my soul is missing, and as cheesy as I'm sure you all think that sounds...I feel it's true. When you get this close to someone then in an instant it's kinda all....gone, you react harshly.

I am literally out of tears. I can walk around with the knot in my throat for hours...but nothing seems to come right now. I'm sure by when I go to bed I'll feel fine. And by fine I mean.....really terrible. If you believe in prayer...I wouldn't mind some.

I took the bus to my new home all the way from The berger's new home. go team Ryan!

my car sucks.

Ryan

When it rains it pours.

damn you, old man winter!!!!

no regrets?? whatever. regret is what builds character. it molds you. I want to be molded. you don't. so, see you in the future maybe.

Ryan

that was one helluva day.

Ryan

I'm nervous.

weak knees, sweaty palms....this is my personal heart attack.

I have discovered I am the most patient person in the world.
I do things I don't want to do, simply because I care, and hate seeing people cry, or get upset, or angry with me.
I walk on eggshells a lot of the time, around a great deal of people.
I think I'm going to snap at any moment. ...prolly not though. give me 5 minutes and I'll be fine.
I am a metronome. I am too loud though.
This is the beginning of a revolution. change the way you think, or we'll force you to.

I'm in love. and always will be.

I'll burn you and your pretty little smile. Watch me.

I need to quit smoking.

taking out a loan is freakin hard. how are people my age, supposed to establish any sort of big deal credit??? they can't. stupid.

who thought buying new drums would be this difficult?? Not I.

Ryan

I don't needrugs.


....................no. you're right.....actually....no.

When I was 15-16 I rocked out to the bridge of the foo fighters song "good grief" all kids want nowadays is one open note and screamin. what 7 years can do. what a shame.

Anybody want to make LB a new website??

Ryan

good evening.

I was bored so I figured I'd post some lyrics from a song we wrote last year in August....but has only reached the ears of maybe....100 people. It's called cliche moves...and it's one sarcastic, moody, bitter, song about...well scenesters, and people who turn their backs on their favorite band when they get large, or in layman's terms "blow-up"

now...I didn't write the lyrics....but I was there when they were being written....and I'll provide step by step analysis so you can understand what we're talking about. or what I think we're trying to get across anyway.


verse 1:
we've got the moves, we've got the moves, we've got the moves
(a sarcastic jab at hardcore bands who all thrash around and seem to care more about how cool they look onstage...than how well they are playing their part, silliness)
blanc belts hold you from the ceiling
(blanc means white in french. white belts seem to be all the rage these days. again....looks over the music. it also kinda claims...you're fashion will be the end of you....you're own belt will be the noose around your neck)
fashions the topic it's so hot right now
(it's a little fun stab at hot topic. not saying we don't go there....it's just a fun little stab, because that store is almost elitist. and it seems to be the new cool hang out for some kids)
movin' the underground with the industry
(basically pointing out that your favorite little indie band is still controlled by some facet of a major label...believe it or not. indie doesn't exist anymore)
you've been stung by the corporate curse as well
(pretty much confirming that every band is a pawn...to some degree....the label always wants to make money. and your little fashion core scene is being milked right before your eyes)

chorus:
here we lay ourselves, in beds we made of things we thought we left behind. we see ourselves, we're in disguise, we ARE the things we left behind.
(basically confirming that....no matter how punk/emo/hXc/metal whatever you are...whenever people start talking money....you would sell out. and that again...what you thought you weren't. you are. another little pocket of pop culture. )

verse 2:
animals rise. animals rise. animals rise!!
(we borrowed this from the childrens storybook "animal farm" basically...these pigs rise up against the farmers, and then sell them off...and of course.... then they are no different than the farmers....are they??)
storybook themes hold too much meaning
(read above)
independent like contract lies they lie entwined
(lines get blurred eventually. the pigs can't tell themselves apart from the farmers...and these little scenesters get sucked up by commercialism, and pop culture....and will get spit back out. basically....any trend get's chewed up and spit back out. so don't think you're better than "skakid 182" or whoever. you're still a playing piece. believe it or not)
you'd sell yourself to the humans for almost any price, and I'd sell myself at any time....for $100, 000.
(stick money in anybodies face...they forget about what they used to believe in...real fast. We basically admit in this line....that yes....we would sign a big contract....no we're not scared of doing that....that was always our goal. the $100, 000 part...? I think it was a stab in the dark how much tooth and nail would try to sell us off for. it's probably way off....but who cares?)

then the chorus again.

I think we wrote this song....because we were getting sick of being labeled as this "radio rock" band....and some of these kids...and reviewers weren't even giving us a chance, or realizing that half the songs on the tooth and nail release we didn't even play live anymore because they were so old. oh well...

they'll see it my way.

"the dying words of a failed artist" august 2004.


you've been served.

hello, my name is: MOODY.


I'm learning how to dance. I don't care.

11 more work days. 16 regular days. Looking forward to this forever.

touring makes you realize how much you miss people. And it made me realize (this time around), how I still have trouble telling people how I feel. Even though I may convey emotion....there's a tonne more I can't seem to get across.....because of fear of rejection....insecurity....or lack of confidence...I don't know. I'll figure it out soon.


buy the new killswitch engage. (thanks Kristin!)

my computer is going haywire. somebody recommend a DL so I can clean this thing out correctly when I get back next week. yeah. my patience is wearing thin with this thing.

gone for a week. it will be bitter sweet. but I would still rather tour than work. for real.

I'll miss you.

Ryan